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How to Ask for a Warm Intro - by Kristina Hu
kristina.substack.com
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Time is everyone’s most valuable asset, so make the most of it by coming prepared. Research the person, company and role thoroughly before your meeting, and ask thoughtful questions (nothing generic you can find on Google). “If your mutual contact is hesitant or unwilling to make the intro,let it be.” After your conversation, thank your introducer and let them know it went. Did you land a job? Did you get funding? Did you make a new friend? Tell them if this person was or wasn’t helpful so they can decide whether or not to pass more people their way. Regardless, express appreciation and keep them in the loop on your future endeavors and successes.
Today, we’ll be diving into Technique #2: how to ask for a warm intro.This approach brings 2nd-degree connections into your 1st-degree circle by leveraging the premier currency that underpins all human relationships:trust. “If your mutual contact vouches for you, you’ll have a better chance at establishing trust with that 2nd-degree connection.” But there are limits to transitive trust:
Many introducers, especially well-connected “supernodes,” are bombarded with requests for intros daily. Make it easy for them to help you by doing the heavy lifting up front. “Before you reach out, clarify the outcome you’re striving for.” Due to the high level of effort and trust required, a warm intro may not be the most efficient way to achieve your goal. For example, if your goal is to learn about someone’s career path, first check to see if they’ve written any articles or blog posts on the topic. If you want to break into a new industry or role, there are plenty of books, classes and online communities you can join to build your skills and broaden your network at the same time.
But there are limits to transitive trust: “When you ask someone for an intro, they aren't obligated to help you — and neither is the person they are potentially introducing you to.” Many introducers, especially well-connected “supernodes,” are bombarded with requests for intros daily. Make it easy for them to help you by doing the heavy lifting up front.
Before you reach out, clarify the outcome you’re striving for. Although your interaction shouldn’t be transactional, people are better able to help if you have a clear goal, whether it’s finding a new job, raising money, or forging a new strategic partnership. “Due to the high level of effort and trust required, a warm intro may not be the most efficient way to achieve your goal.” If an intro is the best path forward, figure out what value you bring to the person you want to meet:
When you ask someone for an intro, they aren't obligated to help you — and neither is the person they are potentially introducing you to. If you can show that you add value to the person you want to connect with, your mutual contact is more likely to accept your request becausetheirrelationship will benefit as well. “Make it easy for them to help you by doing the heavy lifting up front.” Before you reach out, clarify the outcome you’re striving for. Although your interaction shouldn’t be transactional, people are better able to help if you have a clear goal, whether it’s finding a new job, raising money, or forging a new strategic partnership.
But there are limits to transitive trust: “If you can show that you add value to the person you want to connect with, your mutual contact is more likely to accept your request becausetheirrelationship will benefit as well.” Many introducers, especially well-connected “supernodes,” are bombarded with requests for intros daily. Make it easy for them to help you by doing the heavy lifting up front.