The opening line gives the recipient a reason to spend attention on the rest of the email. Start with the business initiative or situation that makes the message relevant, then move toward the problem the recipient can recognize. Treat the introduction as a research problem followed by a copywriting step.1 A business initiative is the first element of a resonant prospecting email.2 The introduction earns attention for the rest of the message, and it is the only part of the email most recipients will ever see.3
Find the reason before you write
Before drafting, name the situation that makes this recipient worth emailing. Start with the broad issue and follow its consequences until you reach consequences that typically connect to a strategic, company-wide initiative.4 Before writing, identify the initiative this person is working toward, the problem that could slow it down, and the consequence that would make the problem worth discussing. If you cannot answer those questions, keep researching.
Reduce the situation to language the recipient can recognize without learning your product. Make the relevance visible before the reader has to work for it.
Put relevance before identity
Keep the recipient's situation in the opening. Your name, company, and background can wait until the reason for the message makes sense.
Make the opening line about the recipient.5 Ask yourself, "Why are you emailing this person right now?"6 Put the relevant context at the beginning of the email so the reader does not have to search for it.7 The opening email should introduce the problem being solved in a way relevant to the persona.8
Company boilerplate belongs lower down, if at all.9 Use the line to explain why this situation belongs in the recipient's world, then use the rest of the email for background that still helps.
Choose a single idea
An opening line cannot carry every reason to buy. Give the reader one clear idea to consider and leave room for the message to develop it.
The goal is to make the prospect think about one specific idea, benefit, or pain point.10 Keep the sentence focused and conversational, whether it is a question or a statement.11 A small question can pull the prospect's situation into the email without forcing them through a broad pitch.12
Use a statement when you have a clear trigger or consequence:
[Trigger or initiative] is creating [problem], so I wondered how you're handling it.
Use a question when the recipient can confirm or reject a recognizable situation:
How are you handling [problem] while [initiative] is in motion?
Keep the line close to the situation you researched. Move on when it points to a recognizable issue and gives the reader a clear reason to continue.
Put the point up front
Once you know the situation, remove throat clearing. Start with the trigger or value statement and leave the throat clearing introduction out.13 When the email may be forwarded, lead with the bottom line up front.14 Another reader can then understand the reason for the message without reconstructing it from your introduction.
A useful drafting order is context that explains why now, followed by the problem or consequence and then a small question or clear handoff. This keeps the line tied to the recipient's situation and gives the next sentence somewhere useful to go.
Keep it short enough to earn the next line
Treat the opening line as the reader's decision to continue. Edit it until it creates enough interest for the reader to continue without asking the line to carry the whole pitch.
The introduction has to earn the prospect's attention for the second sentence.15 Keep the opener to one or two sentences within an email of roughly 50 to 125 words.16 Treat roughly the first 130 characters of the first sentence as the attention window.17
On a phone, prospects may read only the first line before opening or deleting the email.18 Read the line by itself on a small screen. If the relevance disappears when the rest of the email is hidden, move the context forward or remove the detail competing with it.
Run a send check
Read the opening line as if you had never seen the account research behind it. Then read it with the next sentence and check that the handoff feels natural.
Use these checks:
- Can the recipient identify the situation without your company explanation?
- Does the line point to an initiative, trigger, or consequence that belongs to this recipient?
- Does it make the reader consider a recognizable problem?
- Does the next sentence add useful detail instead of explaining what the opening should have said?
- Would removing a phrase make the situation easier to understand?
Rewrite when the line could be sent to almost anyone, when the problem appears without a reason for contacting this person now, or when several ideas compete for attention. Keep it when the recipient can quickly decide whether the situation resembles their own.
What not to do
These mistakes make the recipient work before the email has earned that effort. Remove them during the final edit.
- Do not lead with ROI. It feels stale and makes the recipient calculate the ROI of an unsolicited solution.19
- Do not begin by talking about your company. The reader should immediately perceive the email as relevant to them.20
- Do not give background about yourself before explaining why you are writing.21
- Do not make a generic greeting carry the opening. Starting with the point is more likely to get opened when other emails use a generic greeting.22