Asking for introductions

An introduction request works when the customer understands why the connection helps and can pass it on without having to build the request. Give the customer a reason to participate, a specific person to consider, and a message that takes little effort to use. People are more likely to agree when they genuinely understand how they can help.¹ Before asking, decide what role the customer will play, find out what they want from the connection, and make the handoff easy.

Choose the customer and moment

Start with a customer who has a reason to speak well of the relationship and a plausible route to the person you want to reach. Timing matters because even a willing customer may ignore a request that arrives at the wrong moment.

Ask happy and healthy customers for warm introductions.² Prioritize people with net positive sentiment toward your brand, since they are most likely to refer it.³ Make the request when positive sentiment is high,⁴ the person you want to reach is receptive to a message,⁵ and the customer is likely to act on the referral request.⁶

Before the conversation, write down who you want to meet, why that person is relevant, and what you want the customer to do. Explain the connection in one sentence so the customer does not have to reconstruct the context.

Prepare the ask

Prepare a concrete request the customer can approve. Do the research before you ask and handle the work around the handoff yourself.⁷ Tell the customer early in your first meeting that you may ask for introductions to other people,⁸ so the later request is expected.

Find out what the customer wants from the connection before you decide how to frame the introduction.⁹ Ask questions such as:

• What would make this introduction useful for you?
• Who would you feel comfortable helping?
• What should I give you so the request makes sense to them?

The answers show whether the customer is willing to help, what context they need, and which contact to approach. If the customer cannot see a reason to make the introduction, fix that gap before asking for a name.

Make the request direct

Once the customer understands the purpose, ask for a specific route. A vague request makes the customer guess who you mean and what happens next.

Ask for a direct introduction to the person you want to reach.¹⁰ Start with one or two introductions.¹¹ Ask plainly: "Can you make an intro?"¹²

A fuller version is:

Would you be open to introducing me to [person]? I thought of them because [specific reason]. I will write the note so you can forward it or change it.

Give the customer an easy way to decline without damaging the relationship. The connection relies on their trust, so their comfort with the specific introduction matters more than getting a fast yes.

Make it easy to forward

Why you are asking

Who you want

Why the connection

What you do

The next step

• Why you are asking
• Who you want
• Why the connection
• What you do
• The next step

Give the customer a decision and a ready message to use. Prepare the context and wording yourself, then let the customer decide whether the connection is appropriate.

Making an introduction request easy increases the chance that it happens. If the recipient has to do work, they may postpone it indefinitely.¹³ The person making the introduction is doing you a favor,¹⁴ so give them a message they can use with minimal editing.

Use a short note that explains:

• why you are asking this customer to make the introduction
• who you want to meet
• why the connection is relevant
• what you do in language the recipient will understand
• the next step you want after the introduction

You can send this draft:

Hi [customer], would you be open to forwarding the note below if the connection feels useful?

Hi [person], I wanted to connect you with [you] because [specific reason]. I thought the conversation could be useful because [relevant context]. I will let you both take it from here.

Thanks, [customer]

Keep the customer in control of the wording and the recipient. A ready draft removes effort while leaving room for the customer to make the introduction in a voice that feels natural.

Complete the handoff

After the customer agrees, turn the agreement into a clear route to the new contact. Confirm who will send the message, which channel they will use, and what you will do when the introduction arrives.

A warm handoff or warm referral is preferred when you can get it.¹² The customer can introduce you by phone, email, or in person. If the introduction happens by email, ask to be copied so you can follow up.¹⁵

Let the customer choose the channel that fits the relationship. Move on when the target, reason, and handoff path are clear. If the customer offers to send the message, give them the draft immediately and keep your reply focused on the next step.

If the direct ask stalls

A customer who cannot name someone immediately may still know how to help you reach people like them. Change the request from naming a contact to sharing a path.

Ask five of your best clients for advice on how to meet more people like them.¹⁶ Typically, one of four things happens: they coach you on meeting similar people, invite you to an event, ask you to speak at an event, or give you a name.¹⁷ If the customer gives you a name, return to the direct introduction request and prepare the note around that person.

This gives the customer room to help without asking them to vouch for a connection they have not considered. Listen for the path they offer, then make the next action specific.

What not to do

Remove the avoidable failures before you make the request. Each one puts work or uncertainty back on the customer.

• Do not let discomfort keep you from asking for repeat business and referrals.¹⁸
• Do not assume you will remember to ask later. People forget to ask for referrals.¹⁹
• Do not leave the conversation without asking. Asking is the most important action.²⁰