Asking for introductions

An introduction ask works when the person helping you can see exactly whom you want, why that person should care, and how to pass the request on without rewriting it. Ask the customer for permission first, then give them a message that lets the recipient decide before anyone puts a meeting on the calendar. The less interpretation the customer has to do, the more naturally they can lend their credibility. Plan the introduction before you ask: choose the target, prepare the reason, and make the customer's next action obvious.

Choose the customer and target

Consider the relationship and destination separately. A customer may like your work and still be the wrong person to contact the target you have in mind.

Ask happy customers for warm introductions.¹ Use trusted sources for those introductions.² Before writing, know the target's name and title.³ Write down why this customer knows the target, why the conversation fits the target's work, and what the customer can say from personal experience.

Treat the connection as a request until the customer gives permission.⁴ That keeps you from acting as if the customer has already committed to making the introduction.

Ask the customer before sending anything

The first message should test willingness and fit. Give the customer a simple decision, then wait for the answer before handing over a template.

Ask whether the customer is best placed to make the introduction. Use: "See you know Jim at Blue Shirt Capital. Do you think you are best placed to make an intro for me?"⁵

Tailor the message to that customer and target, and ask whether they are willing to introduce you.⁶ If they agree, send the template email so the customer has minimal work to do.⁷ If they are unsure, ask who else might know the target well and keep the conversation focused on the right connection.

A practical version of the request is:

Would you be open to introducing me to [target] at [company]? I am reaching out because [specific reason]. I have included a short note below so you can forward it if useful.

This wording gives the customer room to decline and makes the next action clear. It also avoids asking them to invent your explanation while deciding whether to help.

Build the forwardable message

Do the research before you ask and make the customer's work as small as possible.⁸ An efficient request identifies the target and company, includes a link to the person's LinkedIn profile, and explains why you want the connection.⁹

Give the customer a clean forwardable email that explains the business and the reason for the introduction, then leaves room for the customer's own note.¹⁰ Format it so the customer can forward it from a mobile phone without needing to open a laptop.¹¹

Use this structure:

Subject: Introduction to [target] at [company]?

Hi [customer],

Would you be open to introducing me to [target] at [company]? I would value the conversation because [specific reason]. I have included a forwardable note below.

Hi [target],

[Customer] and I spoke about [topic], and I thought it would be useful for us to connect because [reason]. I work with [company] on [problem]. Would you be open to a conversation?

Thanks, [your name]

Give the recipient enough information to decide whether a meeting is worthwhile and make it easy to accept or decline.¹² Avoid claims the customer cannot personally support. The customer should be able to forward the note and add to it in their own voice.

Get the recipient's consent

The customer's agreement starts the process. The recipient still needs a clear chance to decide whether the introduction makes sense.

A good introduction requires the recipient's advance consent and enough information for the customer to explain who you are.¹³ Ask the customer to contact the recipient first, explain who you are, why you want the introduction, and why meeting you might benefit the recipient.¹⁴ The customer should then ask whether the recipient is willing to be introduced.¹⁵

Give the customer a reason for wanting this particular person.¹⁶ Give them another reason the recipient might benefit from or enjoy meeting you.¹⁷ If the recipient agrees, the customer can connect you with both sides already prepared for the conversation.

Earn the referral in the customer conversation

A referral ask lands better when the customer knows where the conversation is going and has enough substance to judge whether the introduction would help. Plan the ask before the meeting so it does not arrive as an improvised favor.

Signal early that you may ask for an introduction to another person.¹⁸ You can say, "If this conversation is useful, I may ask whether you know someone else who should see this." When you make the request up front and the customer agrees, they know throughout the meeting that an introduction may be requested at the end.¹⁹ Knowing that can make them scrutinize the solution more closely.²⁰ They may also pay more attention and ask more questions.²¹

Use the meeting to show that you prepared and that your discovery questions are good enough to justify another conversation.²² Listen for a clear problem, a relevant person in the customer's network, and a reason that person would care. Then ask for the specific connection you prepared for.

If the customer knows a stakeholder well, ask them to broker an introduction to that person.²³ Name the person, explain why the conversation fits, and make the forwardable note available immediately.

If the customer hesitates

If the customer hesitates, ask what would make them comfortable before asking for a name or an email address.

Ask: "What do you need to see, believe, or hear about what we do in order to make those introductions?"²⁴ Use the answer to identify the missing proof, context, or customer outcome. Then decide whether to continue the referral ask or earn the right to revisit it later.

If a direct introduction is unavailable, ask: "If not, can I mention that we spoke?"²⁵ You can also ask: "Can I at least mention our name?"²⁶ This gives the customer an easier option while preserving some context for your outreach.

Keep another path open by asking whether the customer can refer you to another candidate. Requests of this kind can produce either a reply or another referral.²⁷ Accept the answer cleanly and leave the relationship intact.

What not to do

These mistakes increase the customer's work or make the introduction feel unsafe.

• Do not ask someone lower in the hierarchy to introduce you to their boss. In the permission-based pattern, you usually ask a contact to connect you with someone on their team, so the reverse direction is generally discouraged.²⁸
• Do not put every desired target into one forwardable email. Send one email for each requested introduction.²⁹
• Do not use a generic introduction request unless the person helping you explicitly says it is the better approach.³⁰