Selecting introduction sources

Choose a source for the relationship and trust they bring to the target. Someone who can make the connection may still know that another person is better placed to do it.¹ Prioritize a personal relationship, then test whether the source has enough standing to represent you well. An introduction from a founder of a portfolio company is presented as the strongest route to an investor.^{2, 3}

Define the outcome

Decide what you want the introduction to make possible before you ask. The source can judge the request only when the outcome is clear.

Determine the type of introduction before you write the request.⁴ A business introduction may involve a partnership or a new customer.⁵ Write one plain sentence that says what you want from the target and what a useful next step would look like. Ask yourself what would make the connection worth the source's time.

If you cannot explain how the target benefits, fix the request before approaching anyone. People who make introductions dislike requests where the benefit to both parties is unclear.⁶

Map the relationship

Build your source list from real connections to the target. Use a shared name in a network as a lead to investigate, then find a real connection before asking for an introduction.

Look for a warm route from a trusted source.⁷ Research the target's connections to find a strong introduction, and use that route before approaching the target directly.⁸ When the target is an investor, check CEO and founder networks for people who have pitched that investor before and maintained the relationship.⁹ Search your peer network for past work or alumni connections to the target.¹⁰

For each possible source, write down how they know the target and why the connection fits your request. A source who can explain the history of the relationship has more to work with when they represent you.

Qualify the source

Test each relationship before you send a draft or assume the source is the right person.

Ask whether the source knows the target well enough to make a qualified introduction.¹¹ Use the qualification question, "See you know Jim at Blue Shirt Capital. Do you think you are best placed to make an intro for me?"¹²

That question gives the source room to name a better route. It also shows whether they understand the target well enough to judge the fit. The source is deciding whether they know you well enough to put their reputation on the line.¹³

Listen for a clear description of the relationship and why the target would care. Note any suggestion that another person is better placed. Move on when the connection is too thin or the source cannot explain why the introduction would make sense.

Ask for the introduction

Once the relationship passes that test, make the request easy to answer. The source should be able to decide quickly whether they are comfortable helping.

Do your homework and make the source do as little work as possible.¹⁴ A brief preliminary request lets you gauge the strength of the relationship and the source's willingness to connect.¹⁵ Put the request in the first two sentences.¹⁶

State the target, why you want the connection, and the outcome you want. Ask whether the source feels comfortable making the introduction and offer to send a formal request they can forward.¹⁷ A useful request lets the source accept it, decline it, or point you to someone better.

Avoid a long explanation of your background. The source is deciding whether the connection is sound and whether the request is easy to carry. Give them the material they need after they agree to help.

Prepare the handoff

An affirmative answer lets you prepare the handoff. The target still decides whether they want the connection.

Use double opt in before the introduction reaches the target. The source may contact the target to confirm that they are comfortable receiving it.¹⁸ The rule applies even when the source expects a friend or relative to welcome the request.^{19, 20}

Prepare either a paragraph describing your goal or a clean email the source can forward and add their own note to.²¹ Include the target's name and company, a link to their LinkedIn profile, and the purpose of the connection.²² Keep the wording accurate enough for the source to explain who you are and what you want without rewriting your position.

Wait for the source to confirm the target's permission before treating the introduction as live. If the source asks for a different format, follow that format. The source should not have to reconstruct your request from scattered messages.

What not to do

These mistakes weaken source selection or create avoidable work after the source agrees.

• A brand name, a service provider, a headhunter, or someone trying to enter investing can be useful and can also create risk. None by itself proves that the person is a strong source.²³
• Label the request as advice only when you are seeking advice. Do not use that label for investment or job requests.²⁴
• Treat an offered introduction as pending until the source makes the connection. An offer can end with no introduction at all.²⁵
• Make sure the source accurately describes who you are and what you want. An introducer may mischaracterize either after the introduction is made.²⁶
• Set a schedule after the handoff. Repeated exchanges about finding a time can prevent the meeting from being scheduled.²⁷