Specific introduction requests

An introduction request should help the connector decide quickly whether they know the person, whether the reason makes sense, and whether they can pass the request along without rewriting it. Choose the exact contact before you write. Specificity makes the ask easier to answer, while a stated purpose tells the connector whether this is advice, a job, business development, mentorship, partnership, a customer connection, or investment.^{1, 2, 3} Ask permission before the handoff.

Choose the purpose

Decide what you want the introduction to produce before writing it. The purpose determines who you ask for and gives the connector wording they can pass along.⁴

Use "advice" only when advice is genuinely what you want. State investment or a job as the purpose when either is the actual request.⁵ Write one clear purpose line:

I am looking for [purpose].

This gives the connector enough direction to judge whether the proposed contact fits.

Name the person

Once the purpose is clear, choose the person who can help. Give the connector a defined contact to assess instead of asking them to invent the target.

Identify the specific person you want to meet.⁶ Suggest one or two possible contacts when you have options.⁷ One practitioner example names a vice president of sales: "VP of sales, John Smith?"⁸

Include the person's company and LinkedIn profile with the request.¹ A direct version is:

Could you introduce me to [person] at [company]? I am looking for [purpose].

Before sending, check the person, company, and purpose. The connector should not have to search for the target or guess why the connection matters.

Explain the fit

Give the connector enough context to see why the introduction makes sense, while leaving room to decline.

A complete request includes the specific person, why the connection makes sense, an easy out, an offer to let the contact check first, and text the connector can forward.⁹ Explain exactly how the connector can help.¹⁰

Use a direct question:

Would you feel comfortable asking [person] whether they would be open to a conversation? I can send a short note you can forward.

This keeps the connector in control and makes the next action clear.

Prepare forwardable text

Write the message before asking for the introduction. The connector should be able to forward your words with a personal note instead of reconstructing your purpose.

Write the text you want sent.¹¹ Give the connector exact wording to forward or paste into an email.¹² Providing it upfront clarifies the relationship you want and helps the connector pass along accurate information.¹³ Keep the request short and simple.¹⁴

A usable draft is:

Hi [recipient], [connector] suggested I reach out because [reason]. I am hoping to [purpose]. Would you be open to a conversation?

Make the note specific enough for the recipient to understand the reason for contact, while leaving the connector free to add personal context.

Get permission before the handoff

The first message is a request for an introduction. The connection happens only after the recipient agrees to receive it.

The introducer should use double opt in for an introduction.¹⁵ Double opt in means asking the person for permission before introducing them, even when the connector expects a friend or relative to welcome the contact.¹⁶ Until permission exists, call it a request for an introduction.¹⁷

Start with a brief preliminary request so the connector can assess their relationship with the target and willingness to connect.¹⁸ Ask whether they feel comfortable making the introduction, then offer to send the formal request they can forward.¹⁹ A good introduction also requires advance consent from the recipient and enough information for the connector to communicate substantially about you.²⁰

Move forward when the connector confirms that the recipient is open to the contact. If the connector hesitates, give them space to decline.

Send the ask directly

Use a channel where the connector already knows you well enough to make the request or where you are already connected.

Cell phone, email, Facebook, and LinkedIn are fair channels when that relationship exists, while text and email are the easiest channels for a fast response.²¹ Skip pleasantries when they only delay the request.²² Put the request in the first two sentences instead of using an extended preamble.²³

A short message can be enough:

Could you introduce me to [person] at [company] so I can [purpose]? I can send the wording for you to forward.

Keep a fallback

If the connector lacks a relationship with the named target, ask for a similar contact instead of reopening the entire search.

The fallback question is, "If not, do you know anyone else like-minded like yourself that I should be connected with?"²⁴

Use the fallback only after making the original target clear. The connector then has a useful comparison when suggesting someone else.

What not to do

These mistakes make the connector do the searching or accept risk without enough context.

• Do not ask the connector to search their entire network for a target. Bring a specific person or one or two possible contacts.^{25, 7}
• Do not open with a casual check in when the only reason for the message is the introduction request.²⁶
• Do not stretch a long message exchange before making an ask that could have appeared in the first message.²⁷
• Do not request an introduction when you cannot explain how both parties may benefit.²⁸
• Do not treat a bare email connection as the whole introduction process.²⁹