A permission-based introduction is a handoff earned through separate conversations. The connector's agreement lets you ask, and the intended recipient's agreement completes the introduction because both parties must agree before it happens.1 Until the second answer arrives, treat the exchange as a request and wait for consent before connecting.2 The extra step may take more time and may be declined, but prior permission makes the eventual conversation more likely to be happy and engaged.3
Give the connector enough context to judge the handoff. Name the person you want to reach and the problem that makes the conversation relevant.
The ask is permission to reach another person to solve a problem, not permission to pitch a product.4 Before you write, answer: Why this person? What problem makes the conversation worth their time? What would make the recipient want to respond?
Make the connector ask once you can state the reason in one sentence without making them reconstruct the case.
Use the first conversation to test willingness and fit. Give the connector a clear way to say yes, set a condition, or decline.
For each shared connection, send a curated, specific message asking whether they are willing to make an introduction.5 A brief preliminary request helps you gauge the strength of the relationship and the connector's willingness to connect.6
Ask: "Are you open to making an introduction?".7 After they say the idea is comfortable, offer a forwardable request. You can ask whether they feel comfortable doing this and offer to send a proper request they can forward.8
Ask what circumstances would make them comfortable making the introduction.9 Use the answer as the boundary for the next message. If the connector wants a particular condition met first, meet it before asking them to send anything.
Proceed when they have clearly agreed to make this specific introduction and you know what they are comfortable forwarding.
The connector handles the recipient's side privately. Give them room to explain the request in their own relationship, then wait for the answer.
The introducer should first explain who the asker is, why the asker wants the introduction, and why meeting could benefit or appeal to the introducee.10 The introducer should then ask whether the introducee is willing to be introduced.11
A clear yes from the intended recipient is the signal to proceed. Silence, politeness, or a vague reply does not justify starting the group thread. If the answer is no, leave the connection there and preserve the relationship.
Make the handoff easy to send and understand. Give the connector a short note that names the recipient, states the reason, and lets the connector introduce you in their own voice.
After the connecting party confirms they feel comfortable, send the proper request for the introduction.12 Keep the note specific to the agreed recipient and reason so the connector can forward it without rewriting the premise.
Use the group thread only after consent is in place. If the connector prefers to make the connection themselves, let them control the timing and wording.
What not to do
Protect the connector from requests they cannot comfortably carry. These shortcuts turn consent into pressure.
- Do not introduce someone, even a good friend or relative, without asking permission first.13
- Do not ask a lower-level contact to introduce you to their boss.14
- Do not skip the recipient's check for interest and time because the connector knows that person well.15
- Do not list every introduction you want in one forwardable email. Use one email per requested introduction.16
Run the request as a handoff with a checkpoint on each side. Ask for the path, wait for the recipient's answer, and start the shared conversation only after consent is clear.